I told them you could toss a salad like wolfgang puck
I guess i tried to text 911 last night with "someone stole my bong." Thank god that doesn't work...
You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
Funny how often beer equates to second degree burns on some portion of my body.
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
I AM OVULATING LIKE A STEAM ENGINE.
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
I need a drink. No, several. I need several drinks. Drunk, I need to be drunk. Definitely need to be drunk
Why is the floor coated in a 2 inch blanket of popcorn??
Randomize
