he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
Your dignity remains intact. He, on the other hand, is completely convinced he slept with your cat.
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
That's some primal shit right there. My vagina is all like CONSUME HIM AND HIS FRUIT HE WILL GIVE YOU SONS!
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
woke up to a case of keystone on my porch when I went to bed at seven that morning.. I think it's someone's peace offering for getting my roommates car towed
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
I just thought about how many drinks I had last night and threw up.
My phone just put together a highlight reel of yesterday's dick pic session, set to music and everything
Why did you buy a cock ring?
I’m going to propose to his penis
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