I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
Plus my stomach has been speaking through my ass all day sending notes saying "fuck you" and "this is from your liver" or "i will kill you."
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
Babysitting for someone you accidently sent nudies to is so fucking awkward.
Where the fuck do you get consience sedatives from?
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
Randomize
