"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
Dude, I just cut my asshole on the new toilet paper. If you rationed the grocery money to buy drugs, I better be getting some.
Ok, it is technically a gay bar but it's a total dive w/ strong drinks. The important thing is you can start drinking at 11:00 am without judgement
oh oh oh, and apparently you can bring in your own snacks. Some old dude just gave me cashews and cheetos.
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
The last thing I remember is your grandma calling me a pussy and taking my shot for me. Your family is awesome.
Front seat of an Escalade in a limo-service parking lot. That is all.
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
You remember the guy they called Meat in high school? Well, let's just say my vagina remembers him now.
Dude. Photoshop a Santa hat on your mug shot and send it as your Christmas cards.
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
Drunk assassins creed leads to explaining to my father that "it was only a steak knife in the arm"
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
Randomize
