My Higher Power is John Stamos
I almost took home a boy from the bar last night, till i realized he was not speaking drunk, he was from another country and didnt know english. that could have been an awkward morning.
dollar beers will do that to you.
I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
she told me if people cross their eyes and look at her, they say she looks like megan fox
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
I caught them hiding behind a car trying to have sex.
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
There was a huge crash. I came out of my room to find you sprawled out at the bottom of the stairs in your bra and panties. You looked at me, yelled 'WHAT AM I DOING WITH MY LIFE' and then ran back into his room.
And that is why I love you so much. You have the same cold black heart as me.
just because i'm not a monk anymore doesn't mean I need to tell you about my new sex life.
which is fantastic by the way.
You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me.
She fucked my eyebrows.. I've never had that done before.
Wait... Plucked, or Fucked?
Fucked, but I understand your need to clarify
Randomize
