Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
Thank God they found balloon boy, I was afraid that Michael Jackson was ordering take out from heaven.
She ordered a salad and a budweiser. I love her.
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
At the hospital, the nurse kept telling me that i either had appendicitis, a tubular pregnancy, or an ovarian cyst. I kept asking if i could just have chlamydia instead...
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
Just ate a gummy bear I found in my sheets. So yeah, 2013 is SO gonna be my year.
I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
You are the voice of reason. And I'm bringing wine. Like seriously this is his last chance. Don't touch me once, shame on you.. Don't touch me twice, shame on me
Your vagina doesn't want to be violated with garnishes. I get it.
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
Please don't finger me like a jackhammer. I'm a woman not a construction site.
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
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