doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
Guess what I'm doing tomorrow?
Becoming a productive member of society?
Sam. Come on.
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
Hurricane my ass. I'm riding a god damn kayak down the flooded highway if it's the last god damn thing I do, god damnit.
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
i was drunk enough to give the cab driver my number when he said "you talk like you like guys"
NEW RULE: can't hook up with more than 50% of the groomsmen in wedding party or it becomes wrong kind of weird. NUMBERS GAME.
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
Next time you decide to go downstairs hungover, please warn me. I now have to explain to twenty eight year olds why you were naked.
It's a lot harder to work after sex than it is to work drunk... just saying.
I know you're having a really bad day and I'm a little to blame for that and I'm sorry. To make your day go better just try to imagine what people's fuck faces look like.
Randomize
