Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
He wants to take me instead of his girlfriend to the happiest place on earth... By that He meant Vegas. My morals are just loose enough to think this is a good idea
Wanna show up on a guy's doorstep and punch him in the balls for me? At least this one isn't a cop.
There comes a point, as I lay on the floor of the work disabled toilets contemplating catching 10 minutes sleep between chunders, that I wonder if its really worth it
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
But don't thank me for faking being asleep, if I was the real wing man, I would have left the bed
Nothing can teach you regret more efficiently than a wine hangover.
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
My manager gave me an envelope with money in it before he had vacation, and when I asked what it was for, he said it will be his bail money.
Lesbians just stole my cat :(
New one isn't as good asmy ex. She won't put her tongue up my butt
Peter this is your "ex"
I stand by what i said
outside on the street drinkin, walked into a random house and asked to pee, some kid hands me a beer and says i have to chug it first
Randomize
