you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
ur roommate just sent me a pic of us fucking. i'm not coming over anymore.
Let's just say trying to drink my weight in apple pie shots looked better in theory.
last night a police horse bit me when i was wasted. even the animal kingdom knows i'm no good
You know you're hung-over when you're smoking and have the strong urge to eat the cigarette. No more buckets of gin. No. More. Ever.
As a 47 yo who just boned a 22 yo, it was definitely a walk of pride. She is a major feather in my aging cap.
You really could become the cat lady we've always dreamed of.
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
Bumble is fuckin insane here. I'm going to break a hip.
IT'S FUCKING BABY SEASON ON FACEBOOK. MY VAGINA WANTS TO THROW UP
just woke up with a trucker hat, half a grilled cheese, and popcorn spread everywhere. last night must have been good.
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
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