i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
Sorry my moustache came off because I was face first in a layered bucket full of jello shots.
So my birthday was awesome. Only remember 45 min of it but I woke up with a girl on the couch and a half bowl of ground beef
My mom is holding a picture of me, crying, and saying "where did I go wrong" over and over again.
I feel like as your wife, as cool with your decision-making skills as I usually am, there should be a bigger explanation to you adopting a child while I'm in Houston.
I cried at the bouncer while saying I wished he was my father... They had no idea what to do with me.
michael burned off one of his eyebrows making a pizza so he had to shave off the other one to make it look even. it doesn't look right, but I'd still bang him.
In related news, I couldn't want to blow you more if your dick made harmonica noises.
You're not drunk til you wake your roommates up screaming at your ceiling fan
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
Randomize
