Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
he also called and said i only cheated on you 8 times but they were all trannies
and someone in the background yelling "one was fat so that counts as one and a half"
I just went in my fridge and said to my turkey "see you thursday". I seriously have issues
I think im drinking tonight later on...which is good cuz i walked pass the liquor aisle the other day and i swear i heard a kid call me a pussy
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
Hey we need to step our game up. Dad has us beat; he stole a vending machine once.
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
If you want me to retract my crazy cat lady comments pictures of yourself dressed as a cat are not the way to do it.
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
Actually, I may scrap this entire plan. I just realized that I had sex with a guy with his own whiskey commercial.
She's too awesome to dump: she gives me great blow jobs and free Popeyes. You just don't burn a bridge like that.
Just don't have sex while watching Home Alone. It will ruin Christmas for you.
I am watching a girl dressed up as santa, full on fat suit, try to fight a six foot 200lb man. A reindeer threw beer on everyone. Shit is going down
You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.
Randomize
