just woke up and this girl had my cellphone nestled in the front of her thong. i kept thinking "is this a trap?"
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
he calls his bong barack obonga, commander in kief. i found where i belong.
I feel bad for the next person that's gonna live in my room. There's so much semen on the carpet
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
If you bring chipotle to my house i'll let you eat your burrito out of my vagina
Im on the side of I-10 covered in sweat, cookie dough, hollandaise sauce, onion gravy, and ground beef wondering how my life I ended up here
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
He better not be in your backpack
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face.
I tried to order champagne at IHOP last night
How was my night? He had a picture of his mom on his night stand and he yelled "Papi like" when he came. Fuck tequila.
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
Is it too far to say to someone "you're useless for everything besides sex"
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