So. Did i wake up at 430, try to drive home, stop to throw up at a shell, and try to clean out my car and drop my keys in a full dumpster? Yes.
Hes a 32 yr old divorced sailor that calls me almost every night drunk begging me to call him big daddy. I think i might need to change my number.
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
So hungover. They actually hid easter eggs around me.
im currently assessing the tequila situation in preparation of your arrival
Turning 21 will be slightly bittersweet. Never again will I be able to get underage drunk at Disney World, now I'll only be able to get legal drunk and that just sets a whole different and sad tone for my life.
My alarm clock on my phone was changed to Fat Bottom Girls over the weekend, and I just now noticed. I'm actually okay w that after Mardi Gras. Well done, random. Well done.
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
facebook is just a cold reminder of all the times other bitches won my hookups
Tuesday Boozeday turned into What-the-fuck-were-you-thinking Wednesday real fast.
He told me I was "too flexible." Excuse me?
This is like the fourth time this month I've woken up hungover in someone's backyard
I got pull-out-my-nuvaring-drunk last night.
Randomize
