Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
I fell asleep with my vibrator still in me. I am the Queen of Sad Masturbation.
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
She described me as " a caterpillar of adorable quietness that exploded into a slutty butterfly" She definitely nailed it there
Operation "Inform her family she stars in a sadistic lesbian porn film" is in full effect. She picked the wrong guy to cheat on.
And, through a series of unfortunate events, I am at my grandmothers birthday party in a short dress and no underwear
Okay... I just said "preach it" to the pokemon theme song. I'm hammered.
If you don't turn up on horseback dressed like a highwayman I am not having sex with you today
i got home safe but then alex started a fire so now we're at the hospital
No actually you're a pro. You puked on the cab ride, and managed to completely contain it in your purse. the cabbie was even impressed.
That was the best shit ever it was like an exorcism for my colon
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize
