just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
yeah. then i thought it would be a good idea to show them how hairy my armpits were, so they'd be distracted from the bush in my pants. EPIC FAIL.
I started making my dollar bills into rings for the strippers
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
Dude, she brought over peach cobbler, weed and alcohol plus I'm gonna get laid. She's by far the coolest sister you have.
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
Why is there ANOTHER stolen fire extinguisher in my room? You know that's a felony right...
hell hath no fury like a questionably-gay best friend scorned
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
I behisseth at your soul from the deepest darkest depths of the earth
He unofficially told me he deleted his tinder because of me. I think that’s a pretty romantic gesture in 2018
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