Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
Just got to costco. Where are you?
Liquor aisle, bring another cart.
While I was dancing with him in my foil dress he said, "You're like a Chipotle burrito. Don't worry, that's the best complement you could get from me."
I don't think a check that has "thx for the drugs" on the note is really gonna fly.
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.
I think the highlight of my night is when I was eating a mayonnaise sandwich. drunk me was on point.
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
She stripped naked and ran around the outside of the house while I stood by the tent holding her clothes shouting "come back" because I was too drunk to chase her. This is why we can't have nice things.
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