i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
i just found a bag of weed behind my capital one card. i guess that's what's in my wallet.
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
It was 5 a.m. and we found him making margaritas with nyquil...
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
It's ok. I will share any beautiful men that I drug and leave unconscious on my bed. I'm that kind of friend.
Well his dad was his wingman, so I had to fuck him. I didnt want his dad to think that he was doing a bad job and I was drunk enough to think he was doing a good job.
Score one for dad.
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
Who doesnt want to be Yoda? I mean seriously, how sweet would that be? Live to 400, not give a shit about love and all that, know fucking mind tricks and smoke awesome swamp weed. I'm down.
He said I was doing well, so I stopped mid blow job to compliment his grammar. You could say I like intellectuals
SHE'S PREGNANT AS SHIT, AND I JUSR PEELED A CLEMENTINE TO CHASE SHOTS WITH!! COULD LIFE GET ANY BETTER!?
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
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