UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.
Also just realized how inappropriate it looks to other drivers to finish bottles of cheap champagne at stoplights
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
Pizza delivery...for when you need to eat your feelings for the sex you aren't having
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
i wasnt laughing because you were puking, i was laughing because three yards away there was a couple seriously getting it on
continuing my moment killer tradition in the best possible way
I was at the pharmacy picking up my herpes medication and the pharmacist asked if I had any questions about my medicine, looked at the bottle, and laughed. Insult to injury man.
He came and farted at the same time. My life is over.
I already plan to donate my brain to science so they can attempt to fully understand the complexities of my existence
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
I don't think it's a coincidence that the day I just happen to do the splits at the gym I come back with 7 guys' phone numbers.
Randomize
