Holy jesus god. My teeth taste like street.
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
I forgot to tell you the best part. The folded up paper he wrote his number on opened up to be a picture of him when he was younger wearing a Columbia tshirt in front of NASA and in pen said his name and "space consultant."
Apparently the last thing they remember of me was me stumbing into a bathroom, then falling out 5 minutes later clutching a butter knife repeating "ketamine goes in my face hole"
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
Just saw out breathalyzer tubes from last night on the side of the road. Glad the cop let us know that they are biodegradable
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
I just got nudes while talking in the third person. Not sure if I Should be proud or ashamed.
I wish I could be the kind of drunk Bobbi is... She stumbles around outside at 4am with a broken high heel and babbling about rainbows and getting dick...
What? No, wine isn't my weakness, I just love it.
I do have a moral compass! I can’t help it if it only points at penises
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