Just saw a girl that looks like Michelle Obama and Im strangely aroused by her. Does that make me a democrat?
Do u think I can claim pregnancy as an accident so my insurance covers it?
DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
My dad just came home, said hi to mom and me in the kitchen, and then said "I'm gonna go inject my blood with iguana saliva".
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
I used the light from the first guy's text notification to be able to snapchat the second guy in the dark. I am too good at juggling guys.
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
Everyone thinks I'm sleeping but I'm actually just melting.
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
Tell me again why we had to Facebook stalk your therapist?
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
Randomize
