i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.
I don't know what I wash first. My body or my puke painted car. People are judging me as I drive by.
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
I woke up to a full mcdonalds meal being shoved in my face. Mom mustve noticed the empty tequila bottle. I love family.
This message brought to you by inappropriate slogans. Cotton candy, melting in your mouth like boners.
You were discovered in a bush, smoking, and singing "in the jungle" to yourself. Which explains the scratches, but not the orange paint.
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
I wanna be like, dude, I peed your bed. Like you laid in my pee. And we're not dating. You can find another fuck buddy who I'm sure won't piss on you.
Got drunk in Atlantic City Flagged down some guy with two wrapped tampons like road flares for a cigarette.
Oh my god if I have to go on fetlife to find a guy who will fuck me right around here, I'm going to scream.
I PUT IT IN THE UNIVERSE THAT I WANTED TO STAB HIM AND THEN SOMEONE DID! KARMA IS A BITCH AND SHE IS BEAUTIFUL!
worse hangover than the time you almost threw up in a plant in front of your daycare kids?
...I don't remember telling you about that but yes
Randomize
