Well, if your day started with strippers, then we're tied. Otheriwse, I'm winning.
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
That girl from the bar sent me a text saying that she wants to wear my cock as a hat. A cock hat. Is that good or bad?
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
Just walked into your room to get my clothes and he's still passed out in your bed. Remind me to high five you when you get home
Antibacterial soap and prayers does not for spermicide make
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
Found Ryan’s keys in the fridge. On my way back.
Also, tell him he missed Nathan passing out in the dryer.
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
You can't hold me to anything I said last night; I was drunk on orgasms.
Randomize
