So the D.A.R.E. essay I helped my tutor kid write won an award. Oh the irony.
well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
So I think before Superbowl weekend begins we should all take a look back on last year and learn from our pitfalls... AKA no touchdown shots and kitchen crying.
Can we talk about the fact that I plucked weed off your ass this morning like it's a normal thing to do?
The face that yo gabba gabba comes up when I'm stoned and searching for yoga workouts is scary or dangerous
how exactly do you say, "i only agreed to meet you for breakfast because i thought we could go to your place and fuck afterwards."
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
He left a fire sauce packet from taco bell that said "promise you'll text me in the morning" on my nightstand.
I fucked that choir dude last night. he had the most strangely musical moans. it was like a Sound Of Music porno.
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
just realized we fucked to the ultimate disney playlist last night. hakuna matata.
My roommate wasn't home and I was too drunk and tired so I peed in the trash can. Twice.
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
Randomize
