I realized today that the only reason you made out with Travis is because he has nice teeth
I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
you told me heaven would be the 3 of us at Moe's forever and every hot girl that walked in would ask us to play stone face
I'm convinced that college is the only place where one can have an existential crisis over what sweatpants to wear
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
I LEAVE YOU TWO ALONE FOR 45 MINUTES AND ALL MY WHIPPED CREAM AND CONDOMS ARE GONE
Sex on acid. Try it. I thought we were fucking in outer space with fireworks inside a rocketship car. Best.
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
I'm excited I love mornings when I'm not sober
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
After the day I've had, I can't decide if donuts or fireball would be the appropriate priority.
I'm super depressed and stressed and I just want spaghetti and sex...
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
Randomize
