Dude you just tried to have a one night stand with my ex girlfriend while we were trying to put you to bed upstairs.
but that still doesn't explain how i woke up on the couch down stairs.
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
I feel like my teeth are caked on with other teeth. What did I just smoke?
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
I sexy timed too hard and there is an ass shaped piece of a ping pong table now missing bc of it. How am I allowed to leave the house without a helmet?
You passed out in your dogs bed and you only willingly woke up because I told there was a bottle of vodka and a snickers bar waiting for you upstairs
Oh my god. We just got locked out of our cabin and went to the neighbor's to see if they had a key and caught the neighbor jerking it. My night > your night
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
I can't be a daydrinker without you. It just doesn't work.
I love you too.
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
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