He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
He compared my vagina to the first time he tried cocaine
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
I AM SENDING THIS TEXT MESSAGE SO I DON'T LOOK AT HIM. THANK YOU FOR RECEIVING IT.
Evidently I told a girl she should leave the bar because no one wanted to fuck her.
when you wake up in a apartment hallway wearing someone else's shoes, you can pretty much assume last night was a success.
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
... and smoked a joint with my new landlord. I'm starting to like Germany.
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
I like how I can go from sucking dick in the my basement to singing along to veggie tales with my family in a span of 10 minutes.
Randomize
