ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
i think i have reached a jessica simpson level of regret
His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
Why is there a school picture of an 8 year old boy in my pocket...?
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
Went kayaking. drunk. DID NOT FALL IN. Mission succesful.
you literally stared at me for three minutes and then said "hey this tequila isn't gonna drink itself, boss"
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
The amount of effort it's taking me to not shit my pants this morning is probably a sign to slow down the drinking
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
And for the record I didn't even have sex last night. I threw up in his toilet and slept in his bed until noon
He updated Facebook... "Got a new phone today." WHAT ABOUT THE FUCKING KID YOU HAD?!
Randomize
