The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
The doctor said 'youre the 2nd youngest person that ive seen with this condition. Thats probably not the silver medal you were looking for today.'
I woke up with her dog licking the wedding cake out of my ear and her sister finishing our Jaeger
Favor? Can you not wear as much glitter on your face this time? Walking in the house looking like a disco ball was enough embarrassment for the week 😒
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
My heart feels like a grape in a barrel about to be crushed into wine
You know what the worst feeling in the world is? Sitting in your 6pm AA meeting still hungover from the night before
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
If I don't get to have sex with him soon my entire female reproductive system is gonna climb out of my body and choke me to death
A penis isn't a time share. I want to own not rent.
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
it's like my ID runs away from me when it knows it's time for me to drink
I kept screaming at his rabbit: "IT'S OKAY, YOU CAN HAVE SOME TRIX. FUCK THOSE SELFISH BITCHES."
She’s the kind of asshole whose face I want to put on a T-shirt just so I can go outside and burn it.
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