What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
i woke up to 115 texts from him all saying "do you love me??"
I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
I only want to screw him when I'm drunk. Problem is I try to be drunk as often as possible
well, i woke up this morning to a note i left myself my dry erase board, "dear you: i had sex with someone awful."
.....woke up with a tube of cinnamon buns in my pocket, i miss you
I have officially tracked lube all over our house on the bottom of my socks without knowing it. Don't slip when you come in
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
You're more than welcome to join us! There's red velvet cake and apparently my pants are open for business I didn't consent to this
THIS IS WHY I WENT TO SCHOOL FOR TO BE A COSMETOLOGIST TO HELP MY EX BOYFRIENDS CURRENT GIRLFRIEND BE MILDLY ATTRACTIVE... Everything DOES happen for a reason
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
I went to Walmart last night to buy some CDs--which is a sentence I never thought I'd say in 2016.
But like, I don't remember getting hit with the door... I just come out from peeing and there was blood running down my face.
Randomize
