before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
I was so drunk I accidentally put in two tampons.
I tried to talk you out of it. You were worried about alcohol being a blood thinner.
honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
a fat lady just tried to bring a cooler stuffed full with burger kid through airport security. christ I'm going to miss the midwest.
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
I found him crying and drunk, in my closet holding a picture of Tyler Perry. He managed to say"he's just so many people"
he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
Honey, I don't care how "classic you" this is. It's not gonna matter if we can't find you in the morning.
All I can remember is posting my chicken burger in the post box. Postman is in for a treat.
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
I swear to God, if you have sex in my bed one more time you're gonna start paying rent
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
Randomize
