i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
You lit the bowl with a rolled up paper towel that you ignited on the stove.
you could never motorboat her...you'd have to motor-titanic her
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
It's not ok to announce to a group of people playing beer pong that a girl put her finger in your butt last night. I now know this
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
Last night he told me I was never sexier than when I was cutting pizza. Seriously. Like, he's perfect.
Everyone is a disappointment when you lose your virginity to nine inches
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
Complete and utter failure. 100% unsalvageable. I have not failed so hard at a culinary endeavor in YEARS. MY HONOR IS IMPUGNED I HAVE SHAMED MY HOUSE
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