Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
You dont remember anything at all? So you dont remember the shop down my road with the 'TO LET' sign over it? You were adamant that the 'I' had fallen off and that it used to say TOILET...so you took a shit right there in the doorway.
I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
WAIT U DIDN'T FEED THE SQUIRREL?
I'm not sure what's more surprising, the fact that she said I reminded her of Danny Devito, or the fact that it got me laid.
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
when she first told me she hooked up with him my initial response was to shout "WE HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON!"
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
Let's be honest, your relationships fail because the man you're looking for is the equivalent of an intellectual blow-up doll.
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
My dog got laid yesterday. Some lady came over with her husky to breed. He did it like a champ. I was so proud
Apparently when cookies are around I think of myself as a puppy and reward myself for everything #WhoIsAGoodBoy
Do you lock your house? Serious question, I need to know if I can add it to my list of emergency poop stops
The first thing he said was that my underwear smelled like Trix but then he looked up at me and whispered "Silly rabbit, vagina is for me."
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