Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
No I am not eating basil off your cock
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
Drunkasaurus has found a new cave to eat all the children she captured
I need to get you away from Bacardi 151 and out from under the bed
I am so hung over a medically induced coma is beginning to sound appealing.
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
Drunkenly bought a $240 realtor course last night. Apparently even drunk me thinks my future is going nowhere
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
i know i saw many looks of jealousy when i walked solo into subway carrying a cheesy gordida crunch after taco bell closing hours
I'm sure for most of the people, it was the one and only miracle they will see
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
Went home last night with that hot British guy. Sounded like I was f-ing in a Harry Potter movie.
Randomize
