The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
for breakfast I had vodka and flavor blasted goldfish. and I'm topless.
I took my shirt off and stood in the kitchen for an hour and a half talking to his parents about my tattoos
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
Just traded the drive-through guy at BK a Dos Equis for a Hershey pie before noon... win?
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
You know what, don't even answer. Just promise me you'll go to the Corner of Shame when you get home.
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
I found all these half eaten mandarin orange on the ground and the bruises on my neck are definetely not hickies
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
Can we talk about the fact that a stranger is doing a line of coke off our living room table right now?
STOP FUCKING TELLING PEOPLE ABOUT THAT TIME THAT GUY CAME ON MY FACE WHILE I WAS ASLEEP!!!
My mom just looked at me and said; "You've been pretty bitchy lately do you need some dick?" WTF has happened to me?
Having Father’s Day on Pride weekend is always so awkward. “Hey dad just calling to say I love you.” While I’m navigating my way through a pop up pool at a bar riding a penis floatie. Happy Father’s Day.
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