you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
i think i left my bra at your place
It's still hanging from my ceiling fan. Please let me keep it there.
By the way, she says hi. At least I think she did since she licked my phone
i came on her dog
it's like russian roulette but with a penis
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
I wouldn't be too worried. He's been known to chase a chubby before.
THAT IS NOT HOW YOU TALK TO YOUR SISTER
But wait then while giving his drive thru order he goes in mid sentence, "Hey baby it's Travis remember me?"
after attempting to eat a candy cane bigger than my hand i have determined there's no way to eat this that doesn't seem erotic
I mean, if there was a version of you with a penis, you'd fuck it...right? Like just outta curiosity at least
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
Can I just buy you sex toys as a wedding gift? Bc I’m here for that and you
you said you heard a baby, so i told you to go feed it. you came back 2 hours later with a pizza and when i asked you where the baby went you pointed to the pizza and puked.
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
Randomize
