i feel as if last night was a right of passage. to officially be an adult you must have a drunken one night stand with a co-worker and go to work the next day still drunk wearing yesterday's clothes...
I really hope I'm not the first person who's had to wash vomit off of cash and credit cards.
i told her that i loved her pillow breasts and then she asked me if i wanted to motor boat them. so yea, i do need the room tonite.
Matt just took me to visit my puke stain from 2 weeks ago at the train station...I'm fucking impressive
Shit. Come in my room. Bring a trashcan and an icepack
woke up this morning with a fat chick but she went downstairs and made pancakes without saying a word.
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
P.S. I just watched The Muppets. I feel like I just got a sadness enema.
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
If by "Are you drunk?" you mean "Did you just faceplant in the checkout line at Target?" the answer is yes.
If a girl called me a promiscuous philandering Casanova, should I say thank you?
Most definitely.
You just put lesbians and Hogwarts in the same sentence. Of course I'm in.
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
Randomize
