Ur dog is a babe magnet. Reminds me of me
in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
I'm on the strip, it's like a mini new years eve. Some girl just got taken away on a stretcher with her meter margarita in her hand claiming it's trophy for being awesome. Damn tourists are lightweights.
I fed him jelly beans while he fingered me. Win, win situation.
She's an honest to god fucking ballerina. She did things I don't have names for.
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
Let's go one conversation without mentioning cats or alcohol someday.
Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
i just looked at those "hey" messages and i was so confused and then i remembered we were practicing texting with our tongues.
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
Sorry about peeing on your phone last night
If I shall die, I wish to bequeath to you my personal library, my sigma tau delta presidency and all it's apparel, and a puppy.
Randomize
