its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
i always forget guys have bellybuttons
For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
I'm in the line at the airport trying not to vomit on the person in front of me. Happy Tuesday.
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
this is a time for prayers...seriously
let us hold hands and pray.. sweet baby jesus please bring us some sweet sweet man loving this homecoming weekend to aid our lonely vaginas it has been a long couple of weeks amen.
I wish I could attach your penis to someone I like more than you.
Still want to know how you got back last night? Two Campus Security Officers carried you in around 430. Your pants were around your ankles.
I hate Sailor Jerry.
You will never know an awkward moment until your parents pick you up from a one night stand.
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
You need to somehow incorporate the phrase "these hoes ain't loyal" into your best man speech.
Let's put a bunch of beers in a backpack and shotgun them in a Red Lobster bathroom
YOUR TO-DO SEX LIST CANNOT CONSIST ENTIRELY OF MY THREE BEST FRIENDS
and their significant others
AND THEIR SIGNIFICANT OTHERS
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
my drug dealer is also my eyebrow lady. Two birds, one stone.
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