I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
sometimes i really wish you were a nugget.
Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
I don't remember. Are we still dating?
When I told my mom I was having a rough time, she responded with "pop a xanax, take a nap, and when you wake up all will be right with the world." My mom is finally starting to shape up.
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
He hid IN a snowbank for 2 hours waiting for me to come home. This game has to stop before someone dies.
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
You flew out of the bedroom, stole two Solo cups from the beer pong table, put them on your feet, clicked your heels together three times
They ran out of toilet paper, so I had a girl rip down the streamers so I could wipe.
So is the trick to long distance communication to be drunk during phone conversations?
Those nachos came to me in a dream
Currently rolling a blunt in the bathroom of Planned Parenthood
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
I just got home and spray-tanned my boyfriend. That's the side of relationships they don't tell you about...
Randomize