He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
How does, "Im sorry I was such an intoxicated bitch, I didn't mean anything I said" sound as an apology.
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
"Students using Axe body spray to light selves on fire" is a real headline from a real newspaper. WHY AREN'T WE DOING THIS RIGHT NOW?
He was completely serious when he said my boobs were like "majestic white clouds."
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
He's texting from midnight mass asking for nude pics. Baby Jesus is spinning in his manger as we speak
Just to let you know... If you ever want to get me a gift, the One Direction perfume comes out soon....... It's called Our Moment. It's an appropriate gift for a 25 year old woman.
I left the bar I'm on a bench across from the bowling alley taking a nap please come get me. I've had three lollipops.
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
I ran into a wall that clearly had things popping out. My eyebrow was bruised, both arms, the bottom of my foot. Lost half of my finger nail, my fake eyelash was stuck in my hair and I have about 47 blurry pictures of a half naked zombie DJ.
No matter how long you've been away, there's nothing quite like pooping at your parents' house
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
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