I just had one of those nervous system things in my thumb...I'm pretty sure I have cancer.
Pick my eyebrow is burning. I'm sitting in the back of dolows vat and listening to jolly music and wilfgang is signing and looking food. Cute kid. Home is where I go now.
what. the. fuck.
He went so fast i didnt even have time to pretend like i was about to have a fake orgasim
You realize if you die tommorow, the last memory i'll ever have of you is your ballsack on skype
He was putting purell on my boobs saying "they need to be clean for later." He hadn't had a drink all night
So drunk can't even tell it's my own house. WOaoOw.
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
He said my breasts were God's way of making up to him for all the shit he's had to endure in his life.
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
He took a girl home tonight that he was trying to sell a fridge to. She wanted a fridge and got his dick. He's got a talent.
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
I refused to call him anything but Drake eyebrows all night.
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
Update: drank half a bottle of Bourbon and texted three ex's. Waiting for the roommates to go to sleep so I can raid the fridge.
Woke up in the hospital naked with my id's taped to my chest. Also apparently puked on two guys, two girls and an escalade (at the same time). Good night.
Randomize
