it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
Ugh I just know that when I take off his pants his underwear will have Megan's Law written all over them.
Update: no underwear. Greeeeen light.
im gonna put my furry chinchilla vagina on her mother effing nose
once I found out that a naked stripper wasn't gonna pop out of the cake I kind of just lost interest in the party
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
I miss waking up knowing you're passed out under my bed.
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
Hung over and there is no way in the world I can make this mess look good today. Only solution is to stay drunk.
I got laid while wearing a shirt with a picture with my little brother deep throating a banana on it.
EVERYTHING IS DISNEY. Even my sexting can lead to Disney.
How did the date go? No fake eyeballs this time?
There is a french fry attached to my steering wheel and a note that says "eat me yum yum" can you explain this?
Randomize
