I actually had to roll up my long sleeves to masturbate. I hate the winter
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
she spent the whole night flailing her arms because "primates are the only species who can move their arms like that and we shouldn't waste it"
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
Your dad's facebook is ejaculating midlife crisis all over my minifeed
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
One thing noone tells you about getting put in the drunk tank is do it barefoot. You get free flipflops.
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
The EMT told me when I left the ER "I'd like to take off your pants again and inspect your package. Just not during a medical emergency..." We're hooking up tonight.
Points for getting a hot hook up after getting a shard of glass in your thigh. Almost makes it worth it.
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
Matt and I's climactic adventure has ended with Matt being hauled off to jail. And now his brother and I are having lunch and a beer.
I fucked him on shrooms. His dick looked like a missile and he had snakes coming out of his ears. It. Was. AWESOME!
Apparently when you start crushing adderall and blending them into your margaritas calling them blenderalls you have "a problem" WTF
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