Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
An attempt at squeezing a tomato to make a bloody mary just says desperation all over it....
I don't even want to go. i just want to be a hermit and live in a cave with an elephant that pisses vodka
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
Drunk at ten am watching Californication re runs. Being divorced rules.
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
Apparently it is frowned upon to ask the bouncer to stop pointing his flashlight in your face and step back so you can puke....and then do it
If you've never yelled, "fuck you ray Lewis" in front of your 87 year old grandfather you haven't lived
God, you're amazing. I just want to hang out with you in the nude and watch Monty Python movies whilst we quip about how comedians just aren't as funny anymore.
Credit for originality. Points off for a mild to moderate creepy factor.
Whats your number? 5 or more?
Cinco. It sounds smaller in Spanish.
Mostly i might never get belligerent again because im gonna have to keep track of a diamond ring.
I just drove by a stop sign that had a used maxi pad stuck to it WHAT THE FUCK
His parents came home, and now I'm hiding in a closet; awaiting death at dawn.
You are always hiding in a closet though??
I feel like sleeping with foreign people is a long term investment. It's like a time share. Now when I go to London I have a place to stay.
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