Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
i just saw a woman using her birth control packet as a wallet.
Everyone needs a good pregnancy scare in their life.
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
i'd be lying to you if i said i didn't just bring up microsoft excel to make an alcohol budget
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
His penis is small and he doesnt like Harry Potter. HE HAS NO REDEEMING QUALITIES WHAT AM I EVEN DOING HERE
I had a face to face conversation with her vagina, asking it not to make me look bad.
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
She’s super into those renaissance faires. But, if you can’t actually stab anyone, what’s the point?
Randomize
