How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
so i used to love airports for the escalators... now its the bars... then the escalators after the bars
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
im still trying to figure out who put the honey mustard in the blender then put the entire blender into the freezer
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
Not many best friends can say they've all made out with a homeless guy
I had sex with her like 200 times, and she was only pregnant once, those are pretty good statistics.
His mom always writes on my facebook right after we have sex. it's like she knows. with her scary mom psychic powers
Alright dude i'm gonna go to go sleep off this soberness. my life is a cosmic joke
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
Remember the thing I sent you? "Often complex problems are best solved by thinking like an animal." Hump away!
Congrats. You made me have an orgasm in Starbucks.
Dude I just clenched/unclenched my hindquarters while looking in the mirror I have fucking talent
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
Randomize
