I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
BEHOLD THE MORNING PIGEON
SANCTIFY THE CHALK TADPOLE
THERE IS NO SOBRIETY. ONLY ZUUL.
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
Emoji's do wonders when you actually have nothing at all to say..
Oh yeah. I pretty much fucked the universes brains out lastnight. It was glorious.
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
I'm in a corner eating carrots and drinking champagne. I've hit a new kind of low.
How is that low? I love carrots.
At first I was nervous, then drunk me thought: What other chance will you realistically have to fuck a British guy?
He said he's going to karaoke tonight and I just spilled a bunch of Cheetos on the floor and ate them all. So that's my night.
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
SpongeBob is life. I once broke up with a guy bc he said SpongeBob was stupid.
They cut me off when I tried to pee in the corner of the bar.
when I walked in the door they were passed out naked, on top of eachother, with tetris controllers in their hands.
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
