if i hear one more christmas song, i will fucking shoot myself.
I think I should become a real estate agent in th friend zone I know the place so well
She paints her nails the color of the sheets of the last guy she slept with
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
They reenacted the scene from the lion king where mufasa talked to simba from the clouds. As high as they were they got it word for word. There has to be an award for that.
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
This morning I woke up in the entrance of a retirement home. Memory fragments from last night: making it rain with the contents of my wallet over the bridge, getting hit by a car, and a lot of running.
There's weed in my toothpaste. Explain.
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
VASECTOMY FOR THE WIN
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