I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
dude, i was at the student union last night trying to study but some retarded sorority spent an hour voting on the color of the seasons shirts like it was a UN meeting- someone motioned purple, someone objected, and half an hour later after 2 recounts they decided on purple
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
There's a skateboard on the patio and all the chips are gone. The note on the fridge says 'don't buy cheese'. Stop letting her go outside.
I guess birthday shots aren't always the answer
Ok fuckface listen up and listen good. 1.calling dibs on a chick out of your league is like applying for a job with a highlight video 2. dont fucking ski down the stairs again 3. if you do, put it on your highlight video
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
She licked my face when I was on the phone with a customer and I just laughed. Im not sure if thats good or bad
I found a door knob in my purse this morning, I hope whoever it belonged to doesn't need it today.
hahahah
so I may or may not have had intense sex to mozart's greatest hits on vinyl... I don't know if I should be proud or just really disappointed in my nerdness
If I die write a nice eulogy and bury me with my star wars bobbleheads
You have to get it done early. Like a dick drive by. Hit it and run.
Well, I was giving him a handy and I sighed in boredom. He heard. I had to fake moaning sounds after he asked if I sighed.
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
I’ve been home 1 day and already had sex with my ex and got a blowie from her cousin and currently I’m getting molested by a cougar at the bar!!!! Plenty to give thanks for this year!!!!
Randomize
