Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
New Low: Just set a reminder on my phone for me to check on things I need to harvest late on Farmville.
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.
he wouldn't lick chocolate syrup off of me because he's vegan. most awkward shower ever.
I'm running on jager fumes right now. It's like I put diesel in a prius and said fuck it.
Thank god for federal credentials. Waaaaayyyy to hungover to go through airport security lines right now.
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
I told him that if he cleaned the bathroom, I'd blow him. You could eat off the toilet. Seriously, get over here. This is the cleanest you'll ever see it.
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
Its because she suspects I'm a frequent drug user, which I am, but I am going to make her feel like she is crazy for believing it.
Randomize
