I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
you kept yelling at her to "show me your genitals" until the bouncers told us to leave...at which point you showed them YOUR genitals...
please don't ever take me to a strip club again...
i just remembered the time you guys tried to give me an intervention because i was drunk before 5 on a monday
i drank out of my shoe...were you seriously expecting me to be the voice of reason?
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
so the x-ray technician didnt buy my story of falling off a curb. she said a fall of that height couldnt snap the bone that way. bitch called me a drunken idiot too. if she wasnt so hot i'd be angry
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
She seems less like a roommate, and more like a homeless person who snuck into your apartment.
Did you hear about Miss Teen Delaware? From the snippet they played on the radio, I knew exactly what porn company it was from. Maybe I should cut back
Do I lose at life if I cry in a grocery store while buying a pregnancy test?
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
We won like $80 last night at the casino, so if we get the Plan B we still have enough to get your basic bitch latte from Dunkin. Calm down.
Randomize
