No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
My grandma paid her handyman in pain killers. I now know why this is in my genes
I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
it was like having sex with a tree stump
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
yeah i didn't know anyone, but i just walked in with a lit sparkler and wearing a budweiser shirt and someone handed me a beer.
i wish you were under my bed. you sexy russian fur trapper.
please. text the right number. youve been sending me these all night.
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
All I could think of during that funeral was how great I look in a suit, how creepy catholics are, and how horny I am.
If you had a dick, I would hope it falls off and comes back to haunt you while fucking your ears at night. But you don't. But if you did, that's how mad I am at you
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
all I remember is screming at her "I want you and your tortillas... DEAD"
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