I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
Upside of a two-day migraine: thanks to a prominent "E" in the middle of every pill, I think we can totally pass off Excedrine Migraine as ecstasy to stupid, drunk freshman. This is totally going to happen. That entrepreneurship course is paying off.
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
Btw I don't have words to express my appreciation at how many times you've had to be on a dirty bar bathroom floor for me in the past two weeks
Next time, dont ever let me talk to a guy drunk, especially if I have class with him the next day
Who do you have class with??
The guy that pulled down his pants in the middle of the dance floor to show me his tattoo
Just had an oven catch fire while I was balls deep. Fire department came, I did not.
Those nachos came to me in a dream
Let he who has not made drunken spaghetti at 3 a.m. cast the first stone.
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
My roommate just yelled at me for coughing. I'd like to yell at her for doing lines off our counter last night.
I just took like 30 condoms from the doctors office... no one can say I don't try to save my money.
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
i woke up and couldnt remember who was in my bed and it was so dark.. i rolled over and started kissing him and feeling his face because hey... if the blind can see like that.. maybe i could too
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
Randomize