idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
He had a number 3 tattooed on his penis. And when I asked what it meant, he said " you know like dale earnhardt, the intimidator".
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
you were watching the nanny crying, saying I wish I was that thin eating twinkies. THAT DRUNK.
I just remembered how awesome your handjobs were in 7th grade, you were a true champ, thank you
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
Please come and rip my uterus out before it does it itself
It's a strange mix of shame and pride every time I pee at the bar and still see my lipstick on the bathroom wall...
He just walked in the house and decided to wake everyone up by yelling "I SHIT MYSELF!" We all thought he was joking....we were all wrong.
so I may or may not have had intense sex to mozart's greatest hits on vinyl... I don't know if I should be proud or just really disappointed in my nerdness
Doesn't matter if you work at a funeral home. If the boss says get a keg, you get a keg.
I started my period on international women's day. It's like the world is congratulating me and punishing me for being a woman at the same time
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
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