Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
Well you are. Awfully cute even. Like baby bunnies. And tiny, tiny penises. You know.
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
There was a reason God said "Let there be titties" on the Fifth Day.
I feel like getting drunk at the airport is sort of a rite of passage into adulthood, but maybe i should reserve that occasion for a flight thats not just 1 hr
Last I saw, they went for a smoke and only one came back. He passed out outside. I'm glad he's only 120lbs. I left him on the rug still. My mom is gonna be pissed.
You should be glad you didn't come with last night. I watched pirate porn for the first time in my life as the 9th wheel.
I held the blackjack dealer's hand and told the old asian woman she was 'soft to the touch, but cold as ice"
After getting kicked out of the bar, you proceeded to McDonald's, ordered 30 nuggets, slammed them all back in 5 minutes and then stole 3 traffic cones...how you only got charged with drunk in public is beyond me.
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
Of course that's what I'm wearing. I need to find a beard to mount and ride STAT.
She stripped naked and ran around the outside of the house while I stood by the tent holding her clothes shouting "come back" because I was too drunk to chase her. This is why we can't have nice things.
Listen gotta draw the line somewhere. Apparently that line is at my nuts.
Randomize
