The maid of honor just puked.
Non-Jews are for practice
Stephanie. Problem. I think if I had met Murphy before Ben I would have fucked him instead.
Don't worry about your Murphy feelings. I may have fucked him no matter what.
He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
a search helicopter?!
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
You were sitting in the middle of the floor spewing vodka at people proclaiming "I a whale". That drunk.
She said pants are for pussies while spooning peanut butter onto her frosted flakes with a serving spoon. She's not even high yet.
Hey are you going to the pride parade? If so get me a shit ton of condoms
You don't know scared until you've just begun the first stage of an acid trip till a guy on stilts with a creepy mustache and beard says "enter the Forrest"
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
He kept kissing me on the cheek when I was pretending to sleep while he cried
Just got an x-ray done of my hip and you can clearly see the outline of my penis in it. When the doctor saw it she said "wow I haven't seen one that big on an x-ray before." Pretty sure the doc and the nurses are going to be talking about me on their lunch break.
Randomize
