I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
My entire childhood was an ugly sweater party
I just took a bite of a bagel at school and it tasted like weed. If I am high for my test in 2 hours I'm gonna kick someones ass
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
You spent most of the night crying and throwing leftover meatballs at the neighbors dogs
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
Just watched a drunk girl hand her valet ticket to a cop and walk away.
Drinking ketchup directly out of the bottle does not make it tomato juice.
The Supreme Court upheld health insurance. If that's not an excuse to get hospital drunk, I don't know what is.
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
I found a bar with Metallica and a fire eater. I'm home
I'm not going out, it's sweat pants and gallon vodka night at my place and I'm the only one on the guest list.
This is because you lost at fooseball isn't it?
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
Randomize
