I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
If they ask for a stool sample we r no longer friends.
You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
Somehow I gave him blood blisters on his dick...I don't know if I'm that good or that bad.
Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
If you're wondering why you have playpen balls it's because we stopped at chuckie cheese on the way home.
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
When you put the phrases "just out of shower" and "did you get the picture" that close together, a picture of hamburger helper is not exactly what I expected to pop up.
I'm gonna go ahead and say I love our drinking habits but anytime we roundhouse a 750 of Schnapps on the way to a non competitive bowling league we might have problems
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