Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
how opposed are you to picking me up at the bar at 11:00am?
It's sad the highlight of the night was you didn't electrocute yourself again.
Hi Jessica this is Jessica and I am texting you and were taking lime shots and it's fantastic and I broke your elbow and I love you xo
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
She's the worst person, but the best naked person
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
I made the jerking off hand motion to my mother by accident this morning. It was awkward for everyone involved.
Why am I feeling up grandma?!
I'm really glad a picture of you as an infant followed this text.
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
Just discovered I was so fucked up last night I called in sick to work... TWICE
The strippers who live across the street set up a decently professional stage on their front balcony and a banner for a go fund me... I think we're gonna get a show.
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