I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
For Halloween this year I'm gonna go as Angelina from Jersey Shore. I'm gonna yell "umm HELLO?!," cockblock someone, then leave the party early
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
Something about a hand job in a car doesn't scream girlfriend
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
I'm lying here drinking water from a shot glass..moving is not an option right now
I can't. I will literally throw up my liver
Why dont you be an ebola patient for halloween? You can totally throw up and itll be part of your costume.
Bloody Mary Monday just took a turn for the worst... Just had a heart to heart talk with the cat about it's obsession with chewing on cardboard.... Time for a nap.
Woke up on a mattress on a roof this morning with a pair of briefs next to me. Oh fleet week.
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
bartering with my concussed boyfriend to eat food with blowjobs
Wow i don't think I've had to send this many texts apologizing for my behavior since high school...
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
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