I think my guts just had a chinese fire drill
Do you ever close your eyes when your having sex with your girlfriend and pretend she didn't get fat after high school?
turns out I still hate jay leno...even at 10pm.
He asked what my name was on facebook chat. IT SAYS RIGHT THERE. i will never be drunk enough for this guy.
this is what happens when you pick a roommate a year in advance.. she ends up hating you for hooking up with for of her extended family members
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
Drunkenly bought a $240 realtor course last night. Apparently even drunk me thinks my future is going nowhere
No, that's just what we do when we hang out. We get drunk, have really awesome sex, then fight about why we never worked as a couple
He was dressed up as Jesus and had vodka in one hand while he was blessing everyone and splashing them with holy water in the bathroom.
At least I remembered to wear a bra. I feel like that's a big accomplishment right now
i was trying to figure out what "tidy fucking" was when i realized he meant "titty fucking" and i need to start banging smarter people....
So I just stirred my shower drink with my razor.
I'm not going to ask which end you used.
one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat.
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
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